Sermon preached by Dr. John A. Huffman, Jr.
February 1, 2009
Copyright 2009, John A. Huffman, Jr.
All rights reserved

HOW TO HANDLE CRITICISM
Exodus 17:1-7

“So Moses cried out to the Lord, ‘What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me.’” (Exodus 17:4)

I hate criticism. Don’t you? Is there anything that pierces our heart deeper than a harsh, judgmental word?

Periodically, I have to stop and readjust my whole outlook. I find that there are times when I lose my equilibrium under the onslaught of criticism.

When I am objective about it, I remember that there are two kinds of criticism.

One is called “constructive criticism.” It’s designed, in the critic’s mind, to bring about a positive end. However, constructive criticism can be just as painful as the second kind of criticism, which is called “destructive criticism.” Both can hurt, can’t they?

All my life, I have lived in that delicate oscillation, endeavoring to distinguish between that criticism that can end up being constructive and helpful and that criticism that can end up being destructive, demoralizing and unhealthful.
Criticism can drag you down. It can be one of the most debilitating realities of contemporary life.

Moses found this out. He didn’t even want to be a leader. He had been there and tried that during those first forty years of his life. Raised in the court of Pharaoh, he could have turned his back on his oppressed Jewish brothers and sisters. Instead, his heart was touched, and he stepped forth in an act of prophetic leadership. It was costly, intervening in a way in which he was even criticized by his fellow Jews. And when the word came to Pharaoh of his actions, he had to flee to the Sinai desert. There for the next forty years, he was content to work for his father-in-law, Jethro, tending his sheep and goats. The wind was knocked out of him. His ambition disappeared. And then, at age 80, God confronts him in that “burning bush” scene, calling him to go back to Egypt and be the leader who would free his Jewish brothers and sisters from slavery, the one who would lead them to the promised land.

Moses didn’t want to be this leader. He knew that he would have to pay the price of criticism. After arguing with God, he reluctantly agreed to lead this band of slaves. Their lot in Egypt had been bad. Their children had been massacred. They had faced terrible oppression from their cruel taskmasters. You would think that Moses would be praised for his leadership. On the contrary, his courageous confrontation of Pharaoh and his leadership of them across the parted Red Sea only begins a forty-year odyssey of wilderness journey in which Moses is constantly maligned by the very people he had set free.

You would think that the people would appreciate his courageous leadership. Instead, they looked back over their shoulders toward Egypt with yearning thoughts. The oppression dimmed in their memories, as they cried out, “‘If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger’” (Exodus 16:3). Imagine how Moses must have felt.

God provided for their need. He gave them manna and quail. He gave promise for the future.
But again they complained, criticizing Moses. The reason? Once again, they had run out of water. Again they murmured against him, complaining about the fact that he had led them out of Egypt. What had been so horrible before looked so good in the difficult moment. Poor Moses. Broken by criticism, he falls on his face before God and cries out, “‘What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me’” (Exodus 17:4).
We all, like Moses, have been at times clobbered by the devastating analysis of others. Are there some guidelines which can help us deal maturely with this problem of criticism?
The example of Moses and other biblical characters suggests four questions you and I can ask ourselves. The honest answering of these will take the lid off this problem, helping you to deal with criticism, both destructive and constructive, in a creative manner.

Question One: Is the criticism valid?

Thank God for criticism. It can be a terrific stabilizer.

Moses grew spiritually in his dependence on God through the criticism. The author of Proverbs continually urges us to seek wisdom and correction. A bottom-line teaching of God’s Word is encouragement for us to be open, to grow, and part of that growth can come from criticism.

One reason that criticism upsets me so much is that I know some of it is deserved.

There’s a difference between criticism and slander. Every so often, my name is slandered. This gets back to me through the grapevine. I find myself disturbed. However, I’m not nearly as disturbed by slander as I am by criticism. Slander can be dismissed, because it is simply dishonest. What is said has no factual basis. It disturbs me only because others could believe the untruths. I try not to run from slander. I try in every way to clarify the situation. Time often does just that.

For example, several years ago, a person tried to get his way with some of us leaders at St. Andrew’s by pressing multiple lawsuits, both in the ecclesiastical and the civil courts. His allegations were painful, but we knew they were false. He even sued me personally in the civil and ecclesiastical courts for “assault and battery,” not a very good practice for a pastor if, in fact, it had been true. As one by one he lost, he would file appeals. Many months went by, and a lot of money was spent on lawyers. But, ultimately, it was clear that these were “frivolous suits.” He did not get his way and finally left St. Andrew’s. All through this time, I had a deep love for this person and continued to care for him. But other than the inconvenience, expense and the months of unrelenting attack, I and the other leaders that were sued were at peace, understanding clearly why this person was doing what he was doing and knowing that the truth would ultimately win out.

Criticism, on the other hand, gets to me in a much more subtle way. So often, the critical word has some factual basis. My explosive response to it is a clear sign that someone is fingering me at a vulnerable point. My pride is wounded. I am painfully aware that this person has insights that are more valid than my own self-appraisal.

Learn to appreciate your critic. He is protecting you from yourself. He may dislike you. He may wish ill against you. Still, thank God for critics.

Imagine the political climate here in the United States if public officials were not subject to criticism. How wounded our presidents must feel when their every action is analyzed and daily discussed by the press. Consider the alternatives. The pain is worth it. It makes the elected official all the more sensitive to the public trust. A totalitarian regime ensconces its leadership in enormous power. Criticism is muzzled. There is no freedom of the press. Totalitarian governments stagnate. Why? Because they protect themselves from criticism.

I know a man who would be much better off now if he had taken his critics seriously. This individual had enormous career promise. His creative ability, his ideas knew no limit. But there was one thing he never mastered. It was the ability to accept valid criticism. Instead of responding graciously, he became hard. Instead of taking seriously some of the valid complaints, he resisted with a rigidity that leaves him today isolated from the real world. He’s a slave, his own slave. He’s caught up in a bondage to himself. There’s no way of getting to him. He blunders through life, trampling over others with misdirected genius. He can’t understand why he’s not appreciated for his accomplishments.
How much better it is to learn from your critics. There is some validity to what they are saying. That’s what puts the burr in their words. How productive would it be if you and I could learn to ascertain what is correct in what they say!
Years ago, J. C. Penney wrote a book entitled What an Executive Should Know about Himself. He asked the question, “Can you take criticism?” Then he quoted Chicago department store magnate, Marshall Field, who said:
“Those who enter to buy, support me. Those who come to flatter, please me. Those who complain, teach me how I may please others so that more will come. Only those hurt me who are displeased but do not complain. They refuse me permission to correct my errors and thus improve my service.”

J. C. Penney developed his observations about the importance of criticism, writing, “. . . praise is a wonderful ‘pick-me-up,’ but it is only through criticism that we are enabled to know what we have been doing wrong and thereby correct our failures and shortcomings.”

Bishop Stephen Neill, a great missionary statesman, made the same observation in relationship to followers of Jesus. He puts it bluntly in these words: “Criticism is the manure in which the Lord’s servants grow best.”
Forty years ago, I went through a devastating period of criticism. I was training to provide spiritual leadership as the pastor of the Key Biscayne Presbyterian Church. I was one year into that pastorate when, much to my surprise, I found that certain individuals had organized themselves to express three basic complaints about my work and me as a pastor and were calling for my dismissal.

Criticism One: John Huffman doesn’t preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Frankly, this criticism didn’t bother me. It was simply untrue. I got out copies of my sermons, then typed in duplicate on onion skin paper. I handed these manuscripts around to the elders who were having to deal with these allegations. They all agreed that I did preach the Gospel. And I had to admit that I did not express myself in exactly the same way as did my more eloquent predecessor. I worked hard on my preaching. I went back each year to take advanced continuing education seminars on preaching with seasoned pastors whom I respected. And out of this came the printed sermon ministry, which started on a mimeograph machine in the Key Biscayne Church in 1969, until we brought it to closure four months ago. For forty years, we sent several thousand copies of sermons each week, multiplying exponentially what we were able to do in the weekend preaching in the churches where I served.

Criticism Two: John Huffman puts too much emphasis on youth. Again, I analyzed this, looking for some validity. I could see how some could feel this way. I was a young pastor. We had just brought a full-time youth minister to our staff by the name of Jim Stout. We were breaking new ground. There had never been a comprehensive youth ministry at that church. Critics could not conceptualize the ultimate goal we had in mind. We were committed to increasing the scope of ministry, both on the youth and the adult levels. So Criticism Two was dismissed as invalid, except wherein it emphasized the importance of balanced ministry. In recent years, I’ve been subject to the opposite criticism, that I haven’t put enough emphasis on youth. To some extent, these criticisms are inevitable and tend to emerge based on a person’s age and status in life.

But then came Criticism Three: John Huffman is egotistical. Ouch! That one hurt. Part of the criticism was that I used personal illustrations from the pulpit. I could dismiss that part because I believe strongly that the best communication is from one heart to another, when we share our mutual experiences, victories and hurts. Still, the basic criticism was there. Egotistical! I was tempted to avoid this comment and make a counterattack on the individuals who leveled it. Yet, as a responsible disciple of Jesus Christ, I had to be just as fair in my analysis of this third criticism as I had been of the first two. I had to admit that this criticism was painfully correct. And I make no claims to have licked the problem. I’ll guarantee one thing—this matter of ego is daily laid on the altar before the Lord. I continually ask Him to take me and use me and bring my will in subjectivity to His. I’m aware that this monster, at any moment, can be freed from its spiritual chains to crush me in public and private life. It was the criticism of others that first alerted me to the potential seriousness of this inclination. As other criticisms continue to come my way, I hope to have the courage to face them objectively. Therein, with God’s help, I can ascertain the extent to which they are correct.

Moses models for us what it is to deal constructively with criticism. In Exodus 18, we see that his father-in-law, Jethro, for whom he had worked some forty years in the Sinai desert, had come to visit him. He observed that Moses was trying to lead the people with a one-on-one style of leadership. Everybody came directly to him with their problems. Jethro got Moses aside and said, “This will never work. You have to learn how to delegate authority.” And he talked to him about setting up leaders in a kind of administrative and judicial organization in which only the major issues in their final form came to Moses. Moses accepted this constructive criticism of his father-in-law. We see Moses learning, mellowing through the years, and ultimately being perceived as one of the greatest lawgivers of all human history.

Thank God for criticism. Be willing to accept it wherein it is valid. Learn from it. You may want to find a few friends, including your spouse, with whom you can confide your puzzlement with certain criticisms. Find people who are objective, who love you, who can help interpret the criticism that comes your way, enabling you to disregard that which is incorrect and learn from that which is valid.
Question Two: Am I doing my best with the life God has given me?

God told Moses to get up and get going. He would provide. Moses was doing his best in a difficult situation.

You can only be as good as God helps you. You can be too sensitive to criticism. You and I have to remember our theology. We are not perfect people. Any claim to perfection comes through the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf on the cross. Our human efforts will always fall short of perfection. God actually wants something more of us than just our best. He wants us to yield ourselves to Him. He wants us to be obedient. From a human perspective, we may not be doing that great a job. Some criticisms will be valid. We should do our best to adjust. And if we are flexible and try to adjust, doing our very best, God will be pleased with our efforts even when our contemporaries find fault. He’s more understanding of our weaknesses than the most loving human friend.

Also, we need to remember there’s not just one right way to do everything. Two committed Christians may have differing lifestyles. One might enjoy watching the Super Bowl on a Sunday afternoon, whereas another might consider this a Sabbath violation. One might enjoy a glass of wine with a meal, while another would find this to be a violation of personal conscience. The key is to be obedient to biblical instruction wherein it is clear. What the Bible declares is that we are to set aside a day for worship and rest. We need to observe a Sabbath, making the Lord’s Day special. We are to avoid drunkenness. It has no place in the life of the believer. Some of my dearest friends are recovering alcoholics, who have found the help of the Lord to live one day at a time, sober. For some of them, that has meant as many as 30 or 40 years without a drop of alcohol.

Where the Bible is clear in its teachings, we are to be obedient. Where the Bible is unclear, we are to follow our own personal consciences as they are directed by the Holy Spirit.
Unfortunately, many of our criticisms involve petty concerns. We need to distinguish between what is right and the various methodologies of doing what is right.

For example, Billy Graham, for many decades, was subject to the most intense criticism a person can face. Some claimed he violated the Gospel of Jesus Christ by associating with ministers and lay persons who did not hold his high view of the authority of the Bible and the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and the importance of calling men and women to repentance in faith in Jesus Christ, who is the only one through whom we can be saved. At the same time, there were those who attacked him from the other side, accusing him of being too close to people in power, too fundamentalistic and simplistic in his presentation of the Gospel and not focused enough on the human justice issues of our day, accusing him of stressing personal salvation over social concerns. Billy Graham could have spent many a sleepless night if he took all these criticisms too seriously. But God used him. His methods are not the only methods which God has used. Fortunately, God works through a variety of persons, talents, temperaments and methods.

Imagine how our brother Rick Warren must have felt in those days leading up to the inauguration, attacked by those who wanted President-elect Obama to withdraw his invitation to lead in prayer, and others who criticized him for being willing to pray at the inauguration of a president with whom they had great disagreements.

Thank God for the Billy Grahams, the Rick Warrens, and persons like you and me, wherein we are endeavoring to do the very best with the life God has given us, as led by His Holy Spirit.

Are you endeavoring to be faithful to Jesus Christ? Or are you afraid to accomplish anything for God for fear of criticism? No human being has the right to destroy you. Never forget that fact. Anyone who sets out to destroy you is literally premeditating the murder of one’s God-given personhood. Listen to the criticisms. Examine each one in principle. Learn from those that have validity. Then plow ahead with unflagging zeal, knowing that you’re doing your very best, given the assets and liabilities which are yours. Are you doing your very best?

Question Three: Am I willing to carry the cross of criticism for Christ’s sake?

Let’s face it. Anyone who is going to accomplish anything in life will be criticized. If you are unwilling to face critical evaluation, I suggest you put aside your plans to do anything in this world. The person who is unwilling to face criticism is the person who will be completely immobilized. That person will find objections from all sides. That person will become neutralized by these, never able to make a movement.

My heart goes out to professional athletes. One day, a quarterback is a hero; the next day he’s a heel. This afternoon, two quarterbacks will square off—Kurt Warner of the Cardinals and Ben Roethlisberger of the Steelers. Throughout the game, both will be second-guessed by fans; and by tomorrow morning, the sports writers will most likely eulogize the winning quarterback and heap criticism and second-guessing on the losing quarterback.

I don’t know either of these men. But back when, for several years, I was the Protestant chaplain of the Miami Dolphins, I observed Bob Griese, as on one Sunday he was booed and another he was cheered. Then we moved to Pittsburgh, and I observed the same happen to my friend Terry Bradshaw. I’ve observed him booed by tens of thousands. There was nothing good about the way he played a game. And then, a week later, I heard him cheered as though he could do no wrong. What was Terry Bradshaw’s mistake that day when he was booed? His mistake was that he was willing to come out on the field and be viewed by the fans. Both Sundays, he did his best. It just so happened that he was the most visible Steeler on the field. When things go bad, the most visible player is the one who gets the most guff. When things go well, he’s stroked.

I remember him telling Anne and me about one day he had just filled up his car with gas at a Pittsburgh filling station. As he pulled out from the pump, three teenagers came running up to his car, knocking on his window trying to get his attention. He thought they wanted autographs and rolled down his window to oblige them, only to have the three of them, in unison, spit in his face. All he had done wrong was to quarterback the Steelers team that had lost the previous Sunday.

I read the other day that the only way to end up a successful politician is to be assassinated while still in office at the peak of your career. The political pundit went on to note that Lyndon Johnson ended up discredited by the Viet Nam War, Richard Nixon by Watergate, Gerald Ford by the pardon, Jimmy Carter by the Iran hostage dilemma, Ronald Reagan by the Iran-Contra scandal, George Bush by the economic downturn, Bill Clinton by the Monica Lewinsky scandal, and George W. Bush by the Iraq War and the economic meltdown. As Harry Truman once said, “If you can’t stand the heat, you’d better get out of the kitchen!” Even the great Woodrow Wilson had his plan for the League of Nations defeated by the U. S. Senate, was felled by a stroke; and one biographer titled his work on the last years of Woodrow Wilson, When the Cheering Stopped.

If you are ever going to accomplish anything in this world, you are going to be criticized. I think sports heroes and politicians are most vulnerable, because their lives are so visible. You and I in our own little worlds are just as susceptible. You know the political composition of your office. You know the way people talk. If you allow yourself to be shoved around by criticism, your vocational effectiveness will be destroyed. Ultimately, you will be neutralized in a spiritual sense. The public eye assures criticism. Do something, and you’ll get it. Do nothing, and you’ll face no criticism, except that some will say, “You know, good old Joe just never does anything.”

The follower of Jesus is even more vulnerable. If you and I are going to follow God’s will for our lives, we will automatically become prime targets. Why is this? It’s because your life will threaten other people. You will threaten them by your conduct. Your standard for living will be higher than theirs. You will threaten them by your theology. They will say you’re too exclusive, constantly wanting you to broaden your convictions in complete opposition to God’s Word that narrow is the way which leads to eternal life. Everything about you will threaten the lifestyle and conviction of those who do not take seriously the claims of Jesus Christ. You will be a major object for criticism.

Jesus himself was despised and rejected by humankind. He was a Man of sorrows. The Bible says He was acquainted with grief. Those who followed Him were fickle. One moment, they expressed their affection. The next, they turned it off. He was plotted against, maligned. One day, He was praised as a hero with hosannas being thrown in His direction. A few days later, He was nailed to a cross. Spiritual leadership is costly. It threatens.

Stephen found this out. He could not deny his Lord. He was willing to walk into the face of his culture, declare that the Messiah had come, pleading for his Jewish brothers and sisters to repent and trust in Jesus Christ. After giving one of the greatest sermons, comprehensively starting with Adam and Eve and moving right through Old Testament biblical history, pointing ultimately to Jesus Christ, his listeners stoned him to death. As they did it, he cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” He paid the price of his convictions. I doubt that any of us will be stoned to death in a literal way for our faith in the Savior. But I will guarantee that some of you are, right now, being stoned by criticisms by those who mock your witness and your love of the Savior. Resist temptation to succumb to criticism. Refuse to be completely neutralized because of your unwillingness to carry the cross of criticism for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Only a few yards away from where Stephen was being stoned was a man named Saul of Tarsus. He held the coats of those who threw the stones. Saul could have continued to play it safe. He was a persecutor of Christians. But he saw something in the steadfast resolve of one who was willing to go to his death for faith in Jesus Christ. That planted a seed. That same Saul of Tarsus became Saint Paul. He, too, went to his death, considering it a joy to suffer for Jesus Christ.

Moses refused to let the criticisms drag him down. With God’s help for forty years, he led the people through that rugged wilderness experience and then handed the baton over to Joshua who led them into the promised land.
Are you willing to carry the cross of criticism for the sake of Jesus Christ?

Question Four: Am I guilty of criticizing others?

When you are hurt, it’s easy to lash out and hurt others. We can do it almost unconsciously. It’s a defense mechanism. It protects us.

Some of us are chronic complainers. We are built that way. Are you one of these? You don’t like the attacks of others upon you. But you sure know how to dish it out.

I used to work in the travel business. I’ll never forget one woman. She worked for an airline and was entitled to discount air tickets. She wanted to go with a tour I was leading to Europe and the Holy Land. We finally agreed to let her accompany us, even though she was not paying the full price. Instead of the gratitude we expected, we got nothing but criticism. She criticized us before we left in regard to the itinerary. She criticized us enroute as to the accommodations, tour guides and the food. And she continued to criticize us when we got home. She was simply a chronic complainer. She initially ruined the trip for me, until I suddenly realized that this was her problem, not mine. Those who had planned the itinerary, chosen the hotels, guides and all the rest of it had done a good job. And the rest of the people were having a great time. If, by nature, you are a complainer, a critical person, as much as you may hurt others, the one you’re hurting the most is yourself.

We all have a tendency toward criticism. To one degree or another, we all engage in this petty activity. It can be against other people. Perhaps it’s against God. But how sad it is to be caught up in discontent, dissatisfied with those around us and with the very God who has created us and revealed himself in the Person of Jesus Christ.

Yes, we are to tell the truth in love. There is that occasional constructive criticism that can help our brother and sister. However, we have no right to destroy another person. We can put an emotional overload on other persons through our criticism. We can make life unbearable for them. We can make that which makes us most miserable, when it’s directed toward us, the very thing we end up giving to others.

There’s a place to speak the truth. But it needs to be cushioned with love, or we will destroy others with the very criticism that hurts us so much.

Moses mellowed through the years. Over a period of time, he learned to provide leadership that listened to constructive criticism and was not destroyed by negative criticism in a demonstration of loving, firm leadership that was faithful to the end. You and I are privileged to do likewise.